A Wedding Tale

As we are approaching Wedding frenzy, I thought I'd share my wedding day with you guys!  Well, to be exact - my first wedding day!!!

Here is the story of a wedding.  Just a normal wedding, where the bride wore white and the groom had a top hat.  The guests were happy and the bubbles flowed.  Where at the end of the wedding the bride and groom were not really married....but everyone at the event thought they were...!!

It all started when I remembered that the registrar needed my birth certificate.  I had three weeks before the big day, but called him to let him know I was on the case. 

'I am getting my husband's mum to look out his birth certificate, but it might be a few days as she is sending it from NZ'  I said.

Silence.  'Cough...umm is your fiancee from NZ?' asked the tentative registrar.

Me, laughing 'Yes!...did I not tell you?'

Registrar, not laughing 'Do you have the correct visa to marry him?'

Me, not laughing either.  Stomach dropping.  White knuckles tight on the phone. 'No - what visa?  What do you mean?' Nervous laugh.  Ha ha.

Registrar, realising the consequenses.'Umm, you need a visa to get married to someone from NZ.  It usually takes approximately three months to get one issued'

Me, not wanting to hear.  Thinking of solutions, any solution.  Breezily,'Oh, I'm sure there'll be a fast track.  I'll call you back.'

Me, on the phone to the home office.  'Oh.  There is no fast track'.  Silence.  Silent.

But I have a huge dress which is so beautiful!  I have the shoes, the bridesmaids outfits, the location, the booze, the place settings, visitors from NZ.... all the stuff that too me so long to plan.

Boyfriend 'We'll just have to have a party and not a wedding' 

Imagining myself dancing in my wedding dress, not married.  Tragic.  No. No. NO.

Me, calling a humanist.  Not having cried yet, holding it together..  Asking, casully, laughing, explaining.  Can you do a wedding, a non legal wedding, for me, in three weeks time?. ..

The humanist.  Soft voiced, grasping the situation staright away.  'No,' says she 'No.  But I will find someone.  Don't worry.  I'll make sure you get married'.  Me, crying for the first time to a lady I didn't know, but who said she would help and wouldn't stop until everything was ok.  My relief came out in big gulps.

I was found a humanist.  Duncan.  The lovliest and most gentle man who made such an effort and put my mind at ease.

On the day of my wedding only the parents and the official 'witnesses' knew the story.  Duncan did a beautiful wedding and everyone was moved.  We left to sign the registry book.  Except we didn't.  As we were not married.

We were toasted, husband and wife.  Except we weren't.

We got legally married by Duncan, in our living room, approximately one year later.

Still not everyone knows that they attended a wedding which was not real.  It was one of the best days of our lives, and one of the oddest and funniest too.